In business and in various life situations, I am faced with the same question repeatedly: “Tell me how you did it…”. I always want to scream sarcastically, “Did What?!….OH You Mean HOW DID I SURVIVE?!” Instead my answer is stated with a practiced cool reserve, “Discipline.” Mind you, they are not speaking of the abusive upbringing I experienced, or the 3 failed marriages, they are asking me how I became a successful business woman raising 3 well-adjusted boys as a single mother. The rest lay hidden from the world.

There is a good chance you would not like me at first glance. I will admit to having few girlfriends (those stories to come). My presence screams, “SHE HAS IT ALL!” I do feel I have what I need and I am very happy with my quiet life now, but that took me about 40 years. My presence is misleading and my past is sheltered from the world as I fight to protect my kids and myself from the implied opinions and judgement which come from the truth. So then you see my today version every time I walk out the door, I am independent, confident, determined and focused. I love my work and I love my family more than my own life. My dedication and discipline are (to a fault) relentless. I make decent money and I know how to manage it. My kids are in college and doing well. I can tell you straight up what I owe these blessings to…I owe this all to FEAR!

I have always known that I must give back and somehow help other woman who have experienced some type of abuse. I feel my mistakes might help you to choose the other path. I want to share my deepest secrets since I feel there may be some which you can relate to and will help you to feel with company, you are not alone, it is not easy, you are allowed to cry and scream and regret, but I am asking you to do those things, to share those things and then move forward. Please move forward.

Follow me on this journey and share with me. The number one thing I have learned is that I am often wrong and that this is okay, so go ahead and tell me so. I look forward to sharing and learning from you.

Let’s start by focusing on today. Who are you today and where do you want to be tomorrow? What memories do you want your children to live with and share with their kids? We live ONE life and we need to make the most of it. We need to not hide from life but instead live it. There you go! My pep-talk and I say these things to myself endlessly.

Here is a summary of what lies behind my facade:

• guns pointed at my mother
• drunk father, brother and drunker husbands with fists flying
• bruises and blood
• unsure how I lived through various attempts on my life (example: he opened my car door, popped my seat-belt loose and started kicking me as he did a 360 through the mid-town tunnel)
• stolen money
• husbands publicly displaying their latest  squeeze
• deceit
• fear
• deceit
• and did I mention FEAR

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